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| the weirdest feeling is having a craving and not knowing what its for! | | |
| my chinese friend helen just got a job at a law firm, i think she is something like a paralegal, probably a little higher because she just got an LLM from tsinghua, but her actual workload is sort of boring and not that challenging...this is her take on it.
she invited me to her office to sit with her while she works overtime, and its the funnest law firm ive ever been in...i show up at around 7:30 and everyone is out to dinner and so the office is empty, and it turns out that no one is coming back into the office, so its just the two of us in this huge office with lots of cubicles...i need to make a call to shanghai and she tells me that i can just use the partners phone and then i pick a cubicle and just sit there and use wireless and im loving it...then she pops open a window and starts smoking and it just seems so crazy to be able to smoke in a sterile cubicle...then she whips out the snacks...seaweed crackers and yogurt and gum, this is a bad gaseous combination...i guess thats not as out there as being able to smoke in a cubicle...but its just like we were having a big ol party up in here...
i guess im happy because its the closest thing ive found to a computer lab in china, all the other wireless cafes that ive become obsessed with are pretty expensive and expat saturated, but i go there because it helps me concentrate. this is a boring ass entry...im boring myself writing it actually...i feel like im in college again, working against my will...as my mind scatters, the fucking ellipses just stream off my fingertips, they are so easy, i wish i could fill this whole paper with these perty little dots, in chinese, periods have holes in them, like little doughnuts...they are so much prettier, like little fluffy clouds, gives the ellipsis more potential i think...like in little cartoons when the character is deep in thought... | | |
| im surrounded by an inescapable aura of urine-feces (the use of the hyphen in this case refers to the indistinct hybrid smell of generic bodily waste that is particularly present in the spring when the sun bakes the shit in the street toilets). i think i tracked some of this stuff in with me on my shoe, because i cant stop smelling it, and i keep sniffing different parts of myself to see what the source is hoping to expel it, and ive narrowed it down to either the sole of my shoe or the rim of my socks. sole of shoe, not so bad, and probably wouldnt be so potent, which means that its on my socks, fully absorbed through and probably eating away at the skin around my ankles. the problem is that when i pee, i cant squat low enough because my achilles are fucked up from too many sprained ankles, so i have to rely on strategic angle peeing, which always has some inevitable splash back...and its fine if youre splashing back youre own pee, but what if the little pee droplets hit the squat bowl, and in that millesecond pick up some of the other stuff and just stick it to you? then i guess you are left with this smell...
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| hi all, recently embarked on a number of projects that are sucking away MY LIFE ENERGY...some of these projects are related to research, and some are related to making myself emotionally vulnerable to people who just fucking with my head, to be fair, they may not be intentionally fucking with my head, im just unstable
updating because sort of nostalgia ish and in the most bizarre mood ever. ran out of cell phone minutes earlier and i feel abandoned without the cell phone...
but it feels liberating and i want to chuck that piece of shit into
the houhai lake that im sitting by. why? because i check for my sms
constantly to see if new boy is texting, and its just distracting,
since turning my phone off, ive been so remarkably productive, its
great... in college, i would have the same problem with im stalking,
and i would have to remove these distracting types from
my buddy list so that i wouldnt constantly be checking away messages
and idle status etc...anyway, ive been in this smoothie bar since 230,
and now its 930 and ive spent my quota of money and consumption for
the day...so im taking a break and checking email and smoking on this
patio and its so dope because its in this beautiful albeit touristy
part of beijing called houhai right next to this lake that you can row
boats on in the summer and ice skate on in the winter. during the winter, i really
wanted to ice skate here because you can sit in these ice chairs, and
get people to push you, its sort of a romantic scene, and the pushing
of ice kart should be done by your qin ai de, or loved one, but i need to just embrace the self pushing, like rolling yourself in an icy wheelchair.
i am greasy and smoky and look like asian einstein, and will stay here until
either my caffeine buzz or laptop battery expires.
MUAH xoxoxo
ok edited..now im leaving the cafe on a really optimistic note because my street has the best street food from 10PM-4AM...old ladies bring their woks and set up shop...they brew these intense stews of pig intestine and blood, and hand make greasy buns...have little stools that you can sort of squat on and drink liter bottles of beer for a quarter.
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| brief update: i was in hong kong for two weeks for a fulbright research conference and while it was a good opportunity to soak in some warm weather and cleanse my black lung(s), i really didnt much care for constantly feeling choked by the fucked up combination of the two vicious C's in the form of smog and neon lights.
took a 24 - hour train ride back to beijing where i think the back problems began again. being in that cramped space was just no good, plus id been doing a bit of dancing lately and i woke up sunday morning with the i cant get out of bed or pee or bend over thing that i get sometime. so my roommate found me a special chinese medicing hospital which was beautiful, its in a hutong hidden right off of our street and it opens up tothis big courtyard of accupuncture, tui na, cupping, etc. so i got my needles with e-stim which, to me is better than any drug its so good!! and i got tui na and i got cupping. felt better then went to work today and i got into a pouty funk today because it felt like the beijing cold was literally welding my vertabrae together and that made me so freaking sad because i just kept wondering what would happen if it still wasnt defrosted by this weekend and i wouldnt be able to do a superbowl breakfast dance or anything like that, no i was actually more concerned of the negative impact this will be having on my sex life when im 50 thanks to the gems of knowledge sam yamashita so gloriously planted in my mind. i HATE that i think of him and having middle aged sex whenever my back acts up.
then i came home to a dead fish that my friend carrie bought my roommate diane and i for our housewarming. she didnt buy us a dead fish, she bought us an ecosystem .... a flower whose roots feed the fish that live in the bowl that holds the water that feeds the flower. anyway, franklin and his brother franklin were doing well after hong kong and then franklin black died and i ate some vicodin and cleaned the ecosystem, made my peace with franklin and got so sad that he died.
pooooop... | | |
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